Willing to Claim it ALL

My life has been so different over the past couple of years and what made the difference was, Me.  Being willing to claim everything in my life as something of my own creation.  Why would I create such ‘turmoil’ or ‘confusion’ in my life?  I believe, to better understand who I am and who I have become.

I can’t say that life has always been a great joy for me.  I also have to reflect upon the choices that I made that got me to where I was.  In this breath, I now revel in the choices that I have made to bring me to where I am now.  In each and every moment, the choice is mine.  Do I sit her sharing the truth of my experience, or do I keep it to myself in fear of what others may think of me?

I’m all grown up now, so I care less about what others think of me and care more about how I feel about myself.  If I’m making choices that make me feel good on the inside, then in a breath – I exhale that very expression of who I am out into the universe where others can experience it as well.

There is nothing bad that happens to me anymore.  There is nothing good that happens to me either.  Absolutely everything that unfolds in my life is about gaining experience so that I can become more in my own life.  As I inhale new information or experiences, I create the space to allow and welcome them to integrate into the very being that I am.  As I exhale, I breath out the new expression of who I am.

There is truly nothing in my life that I’m not willing to share with others.  In my life, I choose to consider everything as moving through an experience.  As I move through it and gain clarity, why wouldn’t I want to share it with another?  I believe that life isn’t suppose to be difficult.  Well what if I have some information that will  make it possible for you to move through your experience effortlessly?  Isn’t it nice to know, that in my view of the world it’s about sharing the truth of my experience.

As I stand tall in this moment knowing that I am no longer that person that I was,  I can reflect back and beat myself up for what was or I can realize that I only made choices based on limiting knowledge.  Now I know something different.  Without the my past experiences, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

I wasn’t always wanting to claim everything in my past as something which I created based on my choices.  However, that was then and this is now. I now stand in a different place and claim everything and I mean ‘everything,’ as something of my own creation.  Since I know for myself that I have created it, I may want to consider why I created it and what’s there for me to learn?

I have given up ‘thinking,’ and now I create space to consider what else is possible in my life?  Thinking is over rated.  I suggest you allow yourSelf to ‘Consider’ what else is possible for you in your life should you be willing to, ‘Claim it all.’

Allowing myself to consider…What else is possible for me?

Amy

A gentle discovery

While chatting with a friend this morning, we discovered something together.  I was sharing how it always seems that I attract people (including my family) that feel the need to be forth coming with their thoughts.

I said something without thinking or considering what it meant and it was beautiful.  I Am the safe space for others to share their truth without fear of judgment. I paused and so did my friend.  Wow, I AM the Safe Space for others to Share their truth without fear of judgment.

With all the things that have unfolded in my life lately, I never considered why I seem to be the person for whom people just open up and share their truth no matter what.  It’s as though they know that I will not only hear their words, but I will hear them differently.  I cannot judge another human being.  There is true brilliance in the way that life unfolds and I can see it and I can hear it.

Why can’t I see what sometimes others see?  Because I look beyond what is presented and am able to see the genius of the experience in the moment.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that I know what it’s all about, it simply means that I know that there’s more and it’s never about what it’s about.

When I shared with my daughter that I could see many changes in the way that my husband moves through his world, she couldn’t see it.  When I shared with my husband that our daughter has been changing, he can’t see it.  They’re both seemingly seeing only what is right in front of them.  A friend that I saw on the weekend said that I have a gift.  I have the gift of clearly seeing beyond what is in front of me.  I always consider, What Else?

Sometimes what I ’see’ doesn’t always seem like a gift to me.  When it comes to my family and they can’t see (or won’t see) beyond what’s in front of them, I feel frustrated.  The nice thing is that I can feel frustrated and in the frustration, I know that I stand tall in who I am in the world and I am not alone.

In many ways I believe that I become the invitation for others to truly consider their lives differently and wonder what else is possible in their lives.  I AM the Safe Space where others can share the truth of their experience and not fear judgment.

My life isn’t perfect.  My way of parenting, isn’t perfect.  I’m clearly, not perfect and yet I know that I’m magnificent in many ways.  I know that to be my truth.    Because I am able to see beyond my warts and imperfections, I’m able to see beyond yours.  What lies beyond or beneath the warts and imperfections, is pure genius.  There’s room to grow and discover what else and what more is possible  if you just take a breath and consider what are the things which hold meaning for you.

It has been such an incredible week already and I still ponder what else is possible as the day continues.  I don’t really care if it’s sunny.  I don’t particularly care if it’s raining.  I have nothing to do, but ‘Be.’  In a state of ‘being,’ there is nothing left for me but trusting and knowing, that life always unfolds exactly how it should.  In a state of ‘being,’ I know that there is great genius in everthing.  In a state of ‘being,’ I live moment to moment – breath to breath and know that anything is possible.

Seeing the genius of – Living in the moment,

Amy

Life in Coma

There are times in my life when I realize that slipping into default and living my life in automatic (or mindlessly), is quite appealing.  How easy would it be for me in this moment to go back to pretending and living my life as a complete and total illusion of what I know life can be for me.  Unfortunately, and I do mean unfortunately – that is not an option for me.

I’ve spent my morning walking around in a state of confusion.  Even now as I write there are tears in my eyes.  Nothing more than information moving in my body and in this moment…the tears have something attached to it that others would label as pain or sadness.

As I got into my car this morning I let out a cry of what I would associate with anguish.  “Go back to pretending.  Go back to pretending.  It’s easier.  It’s so much easier.”  Again, in this moment – I wish it were an option for me.  However to let go of the person that I’ve become is something that I cannot do.  What’s funny about all of this is the fact that I didn’t think that I remembered who I am or who I have become but that isn’t true either.

I know that as I sit here writing with tears flowing, that this is indeed life and it’s living it fully.  Oh, who ever said that living your life fully was a piece of cake and always fun? 

Living life is a choice.  Living in a coma and just surface gliding is a choice as well.  Some people (and I’m one of them), also call it coma.  A different version of sleep walking.  Living life in an automated way based on habituated responses because of not being aware that something else exists.  I did surface gliding for quite a few years and now – well it simply doesn’t appeal to me anymore.  This on the other hand doesn’t feel that appealing either however I can sit in my state of confusion knowing that this is a brilliant opportunity for me to discover more about myself and the more that I can become.  Clearly, there are times in my life that I don’t always have the answers for myself.  (Well, I may have them and there’s a good chance that I’m not ready to look at them yet). 

I love my life and sometimes it really isn’t easy and other times it’s quite simple.  My life isn’t static by any means.  Ebb and flow, peaks and valleys – Call it whatever you want but I know that the genius of it, is that I’ve created it all.

So with everything going on in my life I am quite clear that living a life in coma is not an option for me at all.  There is growth in chaos and uncertainty.  I believe that I create it to keep experiencing something new and as I gain the experience in my body, I get to choose differently and I get to share it with others.

There’s always more and it truly never ends.

Live life and feel the pain or live in a coma and get on a plain.  The pain may be what you need to experience in order to stop the insanity of habituated response (repeating history).  The plain may be a temporary fix and know that the ‘pain’ awaits your arrival.

Living life is about moving through it not walking around it.  If you choose a different path which takes you further away from what is in front of you, know that your destination that you seek  is moving further away from you as well.

I sit here wondering if I’ve made any sense with what I just wrote.    I’m going to say yes and trust that I wouldn’t have taken time to write and share that I too experience confusion/chaos no different than anyone else.

Time for me to relax into myself and ponder, what is this all about.  I’m not necessarily looking for an answer and yet the space and time to ponder what this is for me is needed in this moment.

Knowing that there’s genius in the confusion and chaos,

Amy 

Relationships, parenting, life…..

It isn’t always pretty and doesn’t come with a bow.  Remember being younger and fantasizing about what life was going to be like when you grew up?  I know I did and I knew it was going to be different than what I was seeing with my own eyes.. and I knew that I was going to parent differently… and I knew how my life ‘wasn’t’ going to look.  And…I was right about all of it. 

Some of you may think that this sounds silly, but is it?  I discovered that life is indeed everything that I make it.  Yes the key word is, ‘I Make’ it.  I do indeed create my own reality based on the choices that I make.  Sometimes I delight over the out comes and sometimes….well…let’s just say that I don’t. 

What others see from the outside, isn’t exactly what we are experiencing on the inside of our homes or for that matter, within our bodies.  Our reality of what we’re experiencing on the inside, doesn’t remotely align with what we’re expressing as reality to the outside world.  We think we’re teaching our children to be honest when in reality we’re teaching them to lie.  We lie about our relationships, we lie about our children and we lie about life in general.  How do we know what is real and what isn’t anymore?  Life in many ways is nothing more than an illusion.  What we see and others see, is nothing more than what we’re allowing them to see and it isn’t  necessarily true.

When we’re at work, we act one way.  When we’re at home, we act another way.  When we’re with friends, we act yet another way.  Why are we looking for ‘best friends’?  Cause they’re the only ones who truly know us. Why?  Because there’s a good chance that they’re the only ones we don’t lie to…well…at least not completely.

We want our lives to be the pretty picture that we thought about when we were little.  You know, the way things are supposed to be.  Finish high school, go to university, get a ‘good’ job, get married, have kids, make everyone proud of us.  Hmmm, sounds depressive as I stop to consider myself and clients that I’ve spoken with.  We’re hell bound bent on living up to others expectations of who and what we should be and what we should be doing and even in what time frame.  This is insanity if you ask me and yet, I too bought into if for a period of time.

Unfortunately we’re killing ourselves trying to make things work and pretending that they are, when clearly they’re not.

Let’s get honest.  Although this is an expression, this  is the key to everything.  It wasn’t all that long ago that I wouldn’t have believed it to be so and yet now, this is my reality.

If we get honest with ourselves and only do the things that we really want to or have a sense of enjoying we’ll get to experience relationships, parenting and our lives (in general) much more fullfilling than we ever thought possible.

Instead of getting together with ‘friends’ and complaining about what isn’t working in your life, why not make a personal note to ’self’ and reconsider what you’ve been doing to create the results and consider what could you change to create something more meaningful and fun.

What else becomes possible for you in your life when you really get honest?  What will your life look like?  How will you parent?  Does your relationship flourish or do you discover that you’ve only been pretending and it was over long time ago?  You may discover that by getting honest and choosing only what is meaningful to you, creates a whole different reality than what you’ve ever experienced before.

Have a wonderful day considering….

What if? And the possibilities are Endless.

Amy

A reminder

Last week I saw something which allowed me to remember that, Things aren’t always as they appear.

I noticed – what at first glance appeared to be a moth, trapped between two window panes and then at a  second glance it looked like a butterfly.  Hmmm, trapped between the inside pane and the outside one.  I watched for a couple of days looking all around the window looking to see if there was any possibility that it could get out to free itself.  I did notice a couple of spots where maybe it could get out but then again, a second glance made me realize that the poor thing would die because not only was it trapped, there was no oxygen between the panes.

I pondered over how often in our lives do things appear to be fine from the outside (our appearance) and yet on the inside, we’re dying because we can’t breathe?  How often are we trapped between what we know is our truth and someone elses?  Yet we try to keep up our appearances and wonder why no one is offering to help us when we’re trapped in our ‘pain.’  What if we chose to simply ask for what we need or want?

I believe that we’re all capable of doing many things on our own and for ourselves.  However I also believe that sometimes if we just opened our mouths and asked for what we wanted, that not only would others be happy to help us out but we’d discover that we’re not alone in our wants and needs.

Keeping things up for appearence sake can not only be exhausting, it can kill you.  Not necesarilly right away but keep in mind that if what you feel/sense on the inside of your body isn’t expressed to the outside world, it will manifest in the body as something.  Indigestion, acid reflux and I could make a list however if something is going on in your body – know that it’s about you and consider asking yourself, “What is it that I need for myself in this very moment?”  And here’s the thing, it’s not only about being honest with others it’s about being honest with yourself as well.  I think that was the toughest one for me.  I had no problem being honest with others, just myself.  Hmmm, ‘just’ myself.    That’s a big one.

I’m reminded again of the butterfly.  How beautiful it was, and it still died looking beautiful.

If we find ourselves in situations where we can’t breath, maybe we need take a moment as ask ourselves a simple and easy question.  “In this moment, what do I need in my life that would help me breath?  What could I do to create a different reality for myself if the one that I’m in is no longer working?”

I honestly wonder how often to we actually stop and consider our needs and wants?  If no one outside of you is asking you the question, who cares?  What’s not to say you do something new and fun?  Ask yourself.  There is no one’s opinion outside of me that matters more than mine.  Hmmmm, ego talking?  Nope, I know that I’m looking out for my best interest because I’m the only one ‘in’ here where I live. 

How often do we walk around ‘judging’ people by their outside appearences, without even considering that they may have something going on in their personal lives which is difficult?  How often do we ourselves paint on the happy face so that no one can see our pain?  What makes us or anyone esle any different?  Appearences are just that.  Appearences.

If you want to change your appearance, may I suggest that you consider checking in with your body to see what you really want or need instead of purchasing a new wardrobe?

Creating Space for you to consider your life differently.

Amy 

Only looking at what’s in front of us

I was in conversation with a great friend of mine and I shared a thought with her.  When this ‘notion’ first came into my awareness I was intrigued by the mere thought of it.

What if the things that are lying right in front of us are actually distractions that we create?  Why would we do that?  Well, knowing that every response is an intelligent response – there must be great genius to it.

With that in mind, what if we never look beyond what is right in front of us?  What are we not noticing?  If we were to consider that everything that is right before our eyes is a distraction and is keep us from something more, wouldn’t we mindfully choose to consider what else there is?

If it’s never about what it’s about, wouldn’t it seem obvious that we’re creating a distraction?  Possibly for nothing more than to really stop and consider something different.

We’ve become ‘Masters of Excuses.’  Because we don’t look beyond the very thing in front of us, we can’t possibly see that we have other options.  The question is, do we realize it and out of fear (and or habit) choose to only look at what’s right there and nothing else?  That too of course is an intelligent response in that moment.

If you’re saying that your life isn’t everything that you’d like it to be, then that means  you’d be wise to stop and consider what else there may be. What else is there for you if you were to pause and look beyond what is in front of you?

We run, we rush, we don’t choose mindfully and then don’t understand why we’re looking forward to Friday.  What we don’t stop to think about is that Saturday and Sunday are no different than any other day of the week.  However we have this old limiting belief that we can’t choose for ourselves during the week so therefore, we simply don’t.

OH I can hear it now.  “When I’m at work, I don’t have a choice.  I have to do what I’m told or they’ll fire me.”  Well, you did choose to work there and if it isn’t really meaningful to you in any way, shape or form, pay attention to that and choose mindfully.  You may discover that there is something else for you that awaits your consideration.  You very well may have to pause, take a deep breath and look beyond the obvious for ‘what else?’

Yesterday I met with some women and I put something out to them, which really caused a ’stir.’  I could sense their agitation in their bodies and I loved it.  Yes, I love it.  I couldn’t tell them why I did what I did and had no idea what it was about.  Because for me, it’s never about the obvious ‘action,’ it’s about something else.

What I realized is with what I ‘put out there’ for their consideration, is causing some ‘turmoil’ in their bodies.  Because they have absolutely no past history for what I shared, they now stand in a different place and need to consider themselves first and foremost and consider what is it that is truly meaningful for them.

I marvel in how they’ve all approached it and I’m sure that they had ‘choice’ words for me.   Again, I simply smile.  Imagine ‘putting’ individuals in a position where they have to stop and really choose what is meaningful to them?  Hmmm, love it!  that is who I am and that is what I offer.

Creating Space for others to Consider their lives differently

Amy

aka ‘The Pot Stirrer’ 

Consider the Yin and Yang

I just went back and reread my parenting blog, which I just started about a week ago.  http://parenting4potential.wordpress.com/

I had pondered over the thought for a month or so and then something changed in my life and I realized at that point, there was a sense of urgency to change the way we look at parenting.  It’s time for a new perspective or our children will be repeating what we’ve repeated and has been repeated for generations.  Sounds like insanity of the finest kind.

Last week I had lots to process in my life.  My life is always about engaging from moment to moment, breath to breath.  Standing in what I’ve known and looking up to consider what else?  I could make up all kinds of stories about my experience and it simply wouldn’t matter because my experience is unique to me.  And as I write that, I want to share with you that I chose to stand in a place where I’ve never stood before.

A week  has passed since my daughter was given a letter that threatened her life.  The next day I witnessed the aftermath of a child who had been beaten.  The next day another experience.  Then the next day yet another experience.  None of which I would have  chosen to create in myself and yet here it was.

Holding in my arms, the very child that threatened my daughters life.  The child was in tears and was unable to breath.  Her mother in tears and moving through so much information.  Again I chose to hold her in my arms as well, so that she could calm her body and start a relaxed breathing.

I can hear myself saying, “This is not about pointing the finger or blaming anyone.  I’m not angered by what has happened.”  The look of disbelief on the little girls face.  The look of disbelief on the mothers face.  Could it be that she was expecting something else?  Of course.  And why not.  What took place was not to be taken lightly and I didn’t.  I simply chose to view it differently.

Standing in what I’ve always known and looking ahead, gives me an opportunity to change what has always been.  In doing so I also create a different experience for my daughter.  She is witness to my experience and something different moves through her for her experience.

How easy would it be to yell and scream, blame, point out what was wrong, how dare you do that to my child.  And in a breath, absolutely none of that was there for me.  Rather then let the intellect get involved and make up stories about what could be, I breathed and allowed my body to lead.  My body said, “This child needs to be held.  This child needs to know that someone cares.  This child needs to know that something else exists beyond what she knows.”

Her body relaxed and the sobbing slowed with her change of breathing.  As I chose to go outside and speak with the mother, my daughter encouraged the little girl to breath and exhale slow.  I spoke with the mother.  I chose again to hold the mother in my arms.  Mindful of what I was saying and knowing that this is what felt right in my body.  It’s not about blaming.  It’s not about pointing the finger.  It’s about something else.

If I hadn’t of allowed the body to lead, who knows what the intellect could have produced.  A different outcome to say the least.  And yet for me, the intellect is not my driving force, my body is always what leads.  Call it instinct, intuition, godforce whatever you like, but I can tell you that witnessing and experiencing what I did and my daughter did, there was no room for more anger and frustration to be directed at another human being.

When I spoke to the mother I asked, “What do our children do when they have anger and frustrations mounting up in their bodies? – They write nasty letters because they don’t know what else to do.”  “What do we do as parents when we have anger and frustrations mounting inside of us? – I hold monthly women gatherings, so that we can talk about those things in a small group and safe space.   A space without judgment or finger pointing.”

Yes, I chose to invite the woman whose daughter wrote a letter to mine.  I chose differently because I know that is what it takes to change an outcome.

At the end of the day, we’re all individuals moving through our lives the best way we know how.  Until be consider things differently, nothing will change.  When I wrote, “Consider the Yin and Yang” it’s about not seeing only what’s in front of you, it’s about looking beyond and seeing what else is there that you’re not seeing or considering.  The absence of the presence.  Seeing what isn’t there when something is present.  I was able to see beyond what was right in front of me.  I could also see that there was an opportunity to change not only my life, but someone else’ life.

Sometimes it’s not easy remembering that we’re all individuals moving through our worlds based on what we’ve been taught.  Last week I chose differently and created a different experience not only for myself, but for my daughter, another daughter and another mother.  I’m feel good with what I taught my daughter.  It’s about looking beyond and seeing what else could come from this experience.

I was in conversation with a group of women on Monday and one said that I was able to look for the positive in the experience (my words of course).  In that moment when she said that, I realized that I wasn’t looking for anything.  I wasn’t in the intellect therefore I was only following impulses in the body.  What felt right for me in each moment of each breath.  Not ‘thinking’ beyond the breath rather simply being in the moment and choosing only what felt right.

As I relax into who I am in this moment, I know that I am much more than what I was taught to believe I am.  I also know that because of the choices I made, I am much more than who I was last week.

In a breath, evolution and transformation takes place.

Moment to moment, breath to breath.

Consider the Yin and Yang

Amy

Moving forward…is simple…just not always easy

I remember in one of the programs that I Facilitated someone asking, “As you move forward, does anyone get left behind?”  My answer was (and without hesitation), “Most certainly not.  Not unless they choose to.”

This week I’d say has been one of my most ‘challenging’ weeks being me.  It started last Sunday at the women gathering that I held at my office and has continued through.  I have to be honest and say that I do hope that today is a more ‘relaxed’ day for me.

In conversation with someone yesterday day, so much kept popping for me about the ‘challenges’ of moving forward.  One came up for me very personally this week.

So in my view of the world, moving forward is simple and sometimes not easy.  You stand at a choice point of what has always been or is presently, you look to the future and decide for yourself, “Do I choose to repeat history or do I change it in a breath, by choosing differently?“  Of course, the choice is always yours.

When individuals come into my life, usually it’s because they have health issues or are looking at their life and wanting to make some changes and just not sure how to approach things.  I say Great!  Hats off to the individuals who are ready to step into their own lives and know that they don’t have to do it alone.  Just sometimes knowing that there’s support or encouragement as you go forward, is often enough for individuals to reclaim their lives.

And…sometimes there are individuals who simply ‘like the idea’ of changing their lives and take three steps forward and two steps back.  I’m totally fine with that because it is after-all, your life.  So I breath and remind them that I am a phone call or an email away and continue engaging with them for quite a while.  However, the span of time for me to constantly be there is starting to narrow.  If I choose to wait, I’m only slowing my own life down and those around me that are moving forward.

So, no one gets left behind unless they choose to and sometimes, we/I have to be willing to let go of others desire ‘not to move forward.’

It’s only agonizing when my intellect gets involved.  Yesterday I was very proud of myself.  I made a decision to ‘let go’ of someone that has been sitting on the fence for sometime.  I’m done.  There are individuals in my life who are moving through the past and the things is, ‘They’re moving through their stuff” and even though it is challenging for them, they’re doing it. I need to be there for those individuals.  And I’m clear, “I’m here for myself first and I won’t be waiting for you to get on with your life for too much longer.”  I cannot want for you, more than what you want for yourself.

I witness the Phoenix Rising over and over again with my clients.  It’s exciting and exhilarating.  Why would I choose to sit by and watch you slowly die when you can choose to live?  And…It Is Your Choice.  If you choose differently, know that I am here and will be supportive, encouraging and what you may need to get through it all.  If you’re looking for sympathy, you already have individuals around you for that.  If you want empathy, and are at a point of choosing to live, then I’m here.  Either way, it’s your choice.

Creating Space for others to Consider Life Differently

Amy

Taking the lead

Today I awake to a new reality.  It hasn’t been an easy few days and I suspect that there is still more to unfold in my personal life.

I was witness to the aftermath of a child that had been physically harmed.  I look at the child and I realize, she is the younger version of the women that I meet with in my office.  The ones that are stuck in their lives and riddled with health issues.  The ones that keep the secrets to keep the myth of the intact family ‘intact.’  The ones still pretending and making up the stories that their families were good people.  I so understand wanting to believe the stories that we create.  Who wouldn’t we want to be loved and accepted for who they are?

I think of this young woman and I have hope for her that her life will change now.  That she doesn’t have to become one of the women who holds on to stories and ends up with health issues or worse.

Sunday at my women gathering I had said that I could sense that something huge was going to be happening this week.  I didn’t know what it was and I knew that it was going to be transformational.  Wow.  It has been.

When in our lives to we take the lead and not wait to be lead?  If I waited to be lead, a little girl may be in the hospital or worse.  Be the change that you want to see in the world.  Gandhi said it and it’s true.  When is it that we finally tire of the old stories and stop repeating history?  When do we look back on our past and simply say, “I’m Done.“  When do we look back and say, “That was then and this is now.  And… keep moving forward and looking a head instead of constantly looking back?”

If I ever needed proof that things have to change and I need to be the one to take the lead…In My Life, I now have the proof.  I saw what I saw.  I choose to take the lead and change my life and by doing so, others get their lives back.  If you’re so hell bound bent on ‘doing’ something for someone else, Then Reclaim Your Life and Get On With It. Take the lead in your life so that others can see the value of stepping up to the plate and moving forward.

If you notice the way our feet and heads are potioned on our bodies, best pay attention that they’re not pointing backwards.  We as human beings are meant to Evolve and that requires moving forward…not back.

Creating Space to Consider Life Differently

Taking the Lead,

Amy

How far are you willing to go…

And how many trips are you willing to take in hopes that your life will change?  Over the past couple of years it has become very clear to me that people are willing to do whatever it takes to get their life back.  Or are they?

I’ve heard people say, “We’re going away so that we can rekindle the flame that we once had.”  Or, “I’m taking a trip and going away alone to find myself.”

I find it quite interesting that we leave the space/location that we refer to as home, so that we can find who it is we truly are.  Or is it an opportunity to get away from your life for a few days hoping that while you’re away you may forget that the partner that you went away with or away from, is still the same person when you get back?  Oh yes, and let us not forget that you’re still the same person as well.

What we become frustrated about or the very things that annoy us, are this the very same things that have the same reaction in our body even after taking a trip away.  And yet we believe that a trip away will make things all better.

So how far are you willing to go? I’d say not far enough.

If you want to change your life, stop and ask yourself a few questions.

Are you willing to get honest with yourself?  (I mean really honest).

How willing are you to take a breath and say, “I’m done” and this time actually mean it.  And when I say that, I don’t mean the notion of being done.  I mean when you’re finally pushed back against the wall and you have had your fill.  I’m talking about the ‘being done in the body,’ done.

The sad part is that we’re willing to sacrifice not only ourselves, but our children as well.  “I’m waiting until the children grow up to leave him.  It will be too hard on them if I leave now.”  Hmmm, does anyone stop to consider how hard it is on the children staying in and being part of the unhappy marriage?

Recently I was watching a show and the little boy (about seven) had swallowed some marbles.  The parents rushed to the emergency with him and he ended up in the hospital for a few days under observation.  During his time in the hospital, the parents would ‘causally’ be arguing in front of him and saying things under their breath as though he wasn’t there.  They had both ‘promised’ him that once he was ready to go home and would promise not to swallow any more marbles, that they would give him anything that he wanted.  When it was time to leave the hospital and the doctors signed the release, he asked his parents if their deal that they made still was for real?  “Yes, of course.  You can have anything you want.” – “Good.  Get a divorce.  I’m tired of you two fighting all the time.”

Although this was a show, was it really?  I hear things from other parents and from children and I am amazed at how willing we are to just let things be the way they are.  Always waiting for someone else to make the first step.  Why can’t we take the first step ourselves?

We need to start by getting honest with ourselves and asking ourselves bigger questions.  Taking our time for the answer to come from our bodies instead of the intellect.  When you think of the relationship that you’re in, do you feel like crying?  Does your lip curl up?  Do you stop to consider the environment that your children are being brought up in?  If not…Maybe it’s time.

Creating Space for others to consider their life differently

Amy