It isn’t always pretty and doesn’t come with a bow. Remember being younger and fantasizing about what life was going to be like when you grew up? I know I did and I knew it was going to be different than what I was seeing with my own eyes.. and I knew that I was going to parent differently… and I knew how my life ‘wasn’t’ going to look. And…I was right about all of it. 
Some of you may think that this sounds silly, but is it? I discovered that life is indeed everything that I make it. Yes the key word is, ‘I Make’ it. I do indeed create my own reality based on the choices that I make. Sometimes I delight over the out comes and sometimes….well…let’s just say that I don’t.
What others see from the outside, isn’t exactly what we are experiencing on the inside of our homes or for that matter, within our bodies. Our reality of what we’re experiencing on the inside, doesn’t remotely align with what we’re expressing as reality to the outside world. We think we’re teaching our children to be honest when in reality we’re teaching them to lie. We lie about our relationships, we lie about our children and we lie about life in general. How do we know what is real and what isn’t anymore? Life in many ways is nothing more than an illusion. What we see and others see, is nothing more than what we’re allowing them to see and it isn’t necessarily true.
When we’re at work, we act one way. When we’re at home, we act another way. When we’re with friends, we act yet another way. Why are we looking for ‘best friends’? Cause they’re the only ones who truly know us. Why? Because there’s a good chance that they’re the only ones we don’t lie to…well…at least not completely.
We want our lives to be the pretty picture that we thought about when we were little. You know, the way things are supposed to be. Finish high school, go to university, get a ‘good’ job, get married, have kids, make everyone proud of us. Hmmm, sounds depressive as I stop to consider myself and clients that I’ve spoken with. We’re hell bound bent on living up to others expectations of who and what we should be and what we should be doing and even in what time frame. This is insanity if you ask me and yet, I too bought into if for a period of time.
Unfortunately we’re killing ourselves trying to make things work and pretending that they are, when clearly they’re not.
Let’s get honest. Although this is an expression, this is the key to everything. It wasn’t all that long ago that I wouldn’t have believed it to be so and yet now, this is my reality.
If we get honest with ourselves and only do the things that we really want to or have a sense of enjoying we’ll get to experience relationships, parenting and our lives (in general) much more fullfilling than we ever thought possible.
Instead of getting together with ‘friends’ and complaining about what isn’t working in your life, why not make a personal note to ’self’ and reconsider what you’ve been doing to create the results and consider what could you change to create something more meaningful and fun.
What else becomes possible for you in your life when you really get honest? What will your life look like? How will you parent? Does your relationship flourish or do you discover that you’ve only been pretending and it was over long time ago? You may discover that by getting honest and choosing only what is meaningful to you, creates a whole different reality than what you’ve ever experienced before.
Have a wonderful day considering….
What if? And the possibilities are Endless.
Amy
amy…what came to mind as I read this was this commercial that came on today….. it was one for a drug on fibromialagia……and its a women who is in her back yard having a party talking to the camera of how she does’t let this disease hold her back….becuase everyone needs her….
and I laughed outload cause the message was so friggin clear to me in that moment. What I heard was “my body is shooting off tons of signals to the point I can barely move…. most likely becuase I have spent my life believing that I needed to be mom, grandma, wife, etc…..roles….instead of being that but choosing herself in those “roles”…… so she takes a pill to remove the symptoms so she can continue an old pattern.
focusing on being for others…instead of being self with others.
speaks loud and clear how conditioned we are…..and how glad I am choosing something different…even when the signals are dancing stronger….i soon remember again.