Since I allowed myself to discover the difference between Standing alone and Standing my ground, I pondered what it was that allowed me to make the shift.
In a breath I realized what it was. I chose to ‘Embrace my past.’ I’m not saying that I embraced and loved it. What I’m saying is, I embraced my past, gave it the ‘hug’ that is so deserved (my way of saying ‘thank-you’ for what I learned from it) and then let it go. It’s difficult to move forward when you have one foot stuck in the past.
I knew that I was standing in a very different place and that my life would probably shift yet again. And now I know that things have shifted and the momentum is picking up for me.
Since I started my journey of what I’ll call ’self discovery,’ my life has been very transformational. No longer living in a limiting view of my world, I choose to believe that everything is a yes until it is 110% a no and even then I consider…’maybe.’ 
What I know for myself, is that until I was ready to Embrace my past and looked at it differently, there was little or no chance of me moving forward. I could have easily given a new definition to ‘incremental’ change. It’s hard to move forward a step when your mind keeps on wondering back to what your life was like. What others did to you. Why they were so mean to you. And how everything was really miserable.
O.K. enough already. It may be time to consider that like others, ‘they’ only new what they knew and now that you have the experience of what it was like for you, you get to move forward and create something different for yourself. You would have never had that opportunity if you hadn’t of experienced what you have. You now get to choose for yourSelf…..if you ‘choose’ to. Or live in the past and continue to create what you’ve had all your life.
If you look in the mirror, you’ll notice that you’re no longer a child. You’re an adult able to choose differently. Claim the past and all of its aches and pains and give it a hug and know that this is where you get to draw your line in the sand and say, “No more.”
I know of people who can readily call up the past ‘if they needed to’ so that they could put it back into someone’s face. “There you did this to me when I was only six and now look at me. My life is the shits because of you.” Imagine if you’re an adult still lugging around ‘baggage’ of what other people did to you? Where is the potential to grow or change your life if you’re only living in the past?
Our own personal history is a learning opportunity which enables us to choose differently and move forward. It is only a ‘noose’ if we don’t allow ourselves to speak up and speak out and choose differently. There is no one putting a ‘choke hold’ on you except yourself.
I remember my father used to say this to me sometimes. I never fully got what he meant and he never elaborated on it and…I never asked. Here’s what he used to say. “The wound will heal, but the scar will always be there so that I don’t forget what was done to me.” And in a breath he would follow with, “Forgive and forget.” I never got that one either. Can you ever fully forgive (whatever that means) if you haven’t forgotten? If you’re still looking at a scar that reminds you of the pain that others’ have caused you, how do you look past it and consider it as having had an opportunity for growth?
I pause and I stop to consider, am I rambling? ‘Nonsense!’ Now that’s an old one for me. You see that last paragraph that I wrote allowed me to ‘remember’ my past and I know that it is no longer relevant to me in this moment. No different than you are, I remember being looked at and being told that “you’re crazing and you don’t make sense. All of what you’re saying is in your head.” Those were someone’s words to me when I was about37. How easy is it for us to ‘recall’ the past and stay living in it? We grow up and continue to grow older and I wonder if we ever allow ourselves to grow up?
Since I’ve ‘Embraced’ my past, I am moving forward in leaps and bounds. I shared with a friend of mine yesterday that I sense that I’m like a child again. In the sense that everything is new and I look at everything through new lenses with a sense of wonderment. There is nothing that doesn’t amaze me or that I consider as ‘common.’ There is beauty in things that I would have never considered to hold beauty before. This is what happens when you ‘embrace’ the past. You get to see things differently and get to experience everything from a different perspective, your perspective of what ‘can’ be.
I walked in a Meadow yesterday and I saw chickadees, dragonflies, butterflies and wild flowers. I listened as I heard the crickets and other bugs letting me know that I wasn’t alone. I would have never noticed those things before. I would have possibly noticed what ‘wasn’t’ there. And, I stand in a different place and know that the world, ‘my world’ is meant for me to explore my potential and consider my life as endless possibilities.
So I really encourage you to consider embracing your past, look at what you’ve learned from it (because it was a learning experience) and move forward and start new. See through new lenses. Consider what is possible rather than only seeing what isn’t. Honestly, there’s very little in my world that I don’t see as being possible. And…it’s my choice as much as it is yours. You get to choose what is meaningful for you as much as I do. If you like what others have, consider what choices you can make to create what ‘you’ want in your life.
Growing Forward is a Choice
Amy
