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As things start to shift in my life and expand in an incredible way, I’ve decided to Play & Explore ‘Something Different‘.

I love to write and share my thoughts and yet, I have an incredible playful side that doesn’t always seem to come out here.  I often do serious things and don’t have any desire to do anything seriously.  Even in business there’s a playful side to me.

So I’ve decided that this blog will be about everything and anything that I feel like writing about.  So…don’t be surprised to read up on some nutritional tips, house ‘keeping’ thoughts and everything and anything that you can possible think of.

Who knows what I might share here and there’s only one way to find out. 🙂

Looking forward to Playing & Exploring.

Have a wonderful day……you may want to check this often. 🙂

Amy

This morning I sit here knowing how meaningful my life is.  It hasn’t always been fun being me and certainly isn’t always fun now however for the most part it is.

This week I gathered at my office with some truly magnificent women.  There were times when I heard the words coming out of my mouth and knew that others perception could be that they were harsh.  Nonetheless they came out of my mouth and consciously.  I am no longer willing to not show up in my life and be fully present to myself and those around me.  And most certainly I know that others will have opinions about that and I am so very clear…..What You think Of Me is Absolutely None of My business. I know things and I’m no longer not willing to share what I know and what it has taken me to reclaim, redefine and start living my life fully.

(Before I go any further, let me share that I do not believe in health issue like others do.  I believe that tumors, heart dis-ease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome you fill in the blank, are nothing more that unprocessed information held in the tissue of the body.  I have experienced my own personal health issue that I had since I was 6 until I was 40 disappear.  I have witnessed others health issues including tumors and IBS disappear as well.  I can no longer not share what I know and what I have witnessed).

In the beginning of 2007 I was introduced to a woman who had just gone through having a mastectomy and seemed to be of the mind set that it didn’t have to happen.  She had a knowing in her body that something else was possible other than what she had gone through.

My intention here is to share my experience of what it was me and what I witnessed.

She decided to come to me for CODE Model™ coaching sessions.  (CODE – Creation Out of Deep Energy).

Through many conversations she soon started to have an understanding of how easily we create our realities.  (And no I’m not saying she asked for Breast Cancer however her thoughts were manifesting in physical space and time).  Knowing that the body is the last frontier she knew that unprocessed, not digested or unmetabolized information was what the so called tumor was.

About two months after she came to see me, another growth had appeared and it was a little larger than the size of my fist.  She decided to start with the coaching sessions again.  After a very short period of time, what the medical society was calling a tumor had disappeared.  They had no scientific explanation as to why it disappeared except, “Maybe we misdiagnosed it and it wasn’t as bad as we had thought.”  Something the size of a fist?

It seemed that after being diagnosed with cancer, all of her family ‘knew’ she was going to die.  When she would speak with them, they all spoke with a ‘tone’ of know that she didn’t have much time left.  To be honest, she spoke and looked no different than I did meaning that her appearance and ‘mental’ state were not that of a ‘dying’ person.

We became great friends she and I.  She lit me up just thinking about her.  I called her ‘My Hippie Chick Friend’ which was my term of indearment for her.  We both had great laughs and could be in conversations for hours.  We had a very honest friendship and if I were to make up a story…it would be that the honesty was what was allowing her to live.  Without honesty, she would seem to wither.

So tumor free and full of life, she called me one day and sounded (what others call) depressed.  I wasn’t sure where it was coming from until she announced that her mother and sister were flying down to take care of her.  I laughed and and asked said, “Why?  Are you sick?”  We both laughed because she was really thriving in her life and was making changes in her life that were meaningful to her.  However, her friends and family were less than pleased by her changes.  Why?  Because she didn’t wake up in the morning asking herself what she could do to help them out or make their lives better.  She stopped doing for others and starting only doing what was fun for herself.

She blossomed and bloomed and it was wonderful to be part of it.  And…something changed.

Her family arrived with their doom and gloom outlook and all of a sudden she started to allow what others thought of her to be more important than whether or not she was happy and having fun.  I would call the house and her sister and mother would lie to me about her being there.  “oh you just missed her.  She’s gone for a walk.”  After hearing this a few times I started to wonder whether they may be lying.  A couple of days later I received a call from my friend on her cell phone.  She was speaking in a very low voice.  Her words sent shivers up my spine and my body became chilled.  (I know how powerful words are and how they create our reality if we believe what we’re saying).

“They’re killing me.  They no longer let me do what I want to do, they’re screening all of my calls and they listen in on my conversations when they think I’m on the phone.  I can’t breath.  They’re treating me like I’m dying when I’ve just started to live.  I can’t do this anymore.  I’ve decided to call the hospital and check myself in so that I don’t have to deal with them running my life.”

I went to see her in the hospital.  Her hands were swollen and she didn’t look like the person I had seen but days before.  During our 20 minute conversations, the swelling in her hands were gone and life returned to her face.  I made reference to her hands so that she could see how life sustaining meaningful conversations could be.  She smiled and said, “I need to get out of here when you get back and I’m sending them home.  I don’t need their help”

I was going to be leaving for a week and we had plans for when I got back.  I called her the Friday and told her that I was staying another day.  She shared with me that she was checking out on the Saturday and to give her a few days and then we’d get together so she could go apartment hunting.  We were both excited about it and I could tell by the strength in her voice that she was back and fully awake, ready to move forward.

A week later my husband was on the computer and asked if I had read the emails.  He never asks and I was curious as to why.  He asked, “Did you know that________ died?”  I held my breath for a moment and the tears slowly started to flow.  What happened?  How could she be so strong and present, being ready to leave the hospital and then die?

I went to the funeral service and after I spoke with her mother.  “Did she ever make it home?  Oh no she responded.  We wouldn’t let her.  She wasn’t able to take care of herself and there’s no way that we could.  We told the doctors to keep her there until she died.  It was becoming too much work for us.”

She checked into the hospital cancer free and died the same way.  They couldn’t explain why she seemly died in her sleep.

I believe (and this is my belief), that if she couldn’t live her life in a meaningful way, her way, then she’d rather not live at all.

So why am I so passionate about working with women and sharing with them everything that I know?  Because I know that no one has to die of health issues.  Lets get honest with ourselves and give ourselves permission to upset and not say yes when we really want to say no.  Stop being so damn nice to everyone else and sacrificing your own being.  Hidden behind the labels of Mother, wife, daughter, crohn’s, cancer, manager, supervisor etc., are individuals wanting to live.  Our jobs, titles, labels are not who we are.  Why wear them with a badge of honor when you’re grinding your teeth, holding your breath and dishonoring who you are?

Don’t beat yourself up for choices you’ve made in the past rather start choosing differently now and move forward and create the life that you’ve always wanted.

I remember one of the times my friend called me and said, “Tell me what to do?”  (Telling people the steps that are required…beyond being honest, is not something that I do).  She was in tears repeating, “I’m trying, I’m trying.”  With a firm voice I said, “You need to stop ‘trying’ and start doing only what it meaningful to you and absolutely nothing else.”  She stopped and crying and in that breath everything changed for her and that is when she started to live her life for herself…up until she allowed external references to override the knowing that she had in her body.

I honor myself and those in my life and am unwilling to not share what I know with them and to sit back and watch them die.  I don’t want to stand quiet while people are going to ‘die trying’ especially when I know there’s another way.  I love the women in my life and always share with them what else is possible and….The Possibilities are Endless.

Amy

(Written August 29th/09  Hidden in another blog.  Now I choose for my metaphorical blog to be witnessed and experienced). 🙂

So many different journeys and yet all so similar. What does it take for us as women to break from the past of limiting beliefs to discover the potential that we hold? Each woman standing tall, in who she is sharing the unique truth of her own experience, sends ripples out into the universe and touches another woman who is completely unaware of what just happened. And yet, there’s a knowing in her body that something has changed.

The ripple affect has been proven with butterflies and their beating of wings. What happens when a woman can no longer stand still in her knowing and her wings start to beat to music that only she can hear and yet..others can feel?

In a constant state of being/metamorphosis, we are what it takes for this our world to change.

Sitting here writing out side, I listen to the robins singing their song. What becomes interesting for me is that they have several songs. All very melodic and touches my soul as I inhale their beauty and magnificence. They remind me of who I am and I liken myself and other women to nature and all its beauty. Whether it be tree, bird, chipmunk or weed, at each stage of our life there is an unfolding and there is magnificence to each and every stage. At one point in my life I would have said that it goes unnoticed by most. What my heart tells me today is that we notice it, we just don’t speak of it in fear of what others will think of us. That is one of the stages that I have moved through. I know that in a breath the next unfolding of who I am becomes yet again an awakening of a different aspect of who I am.

Since I have awakened to my own potential, it is as though with every breath a layer is shed, a new bud appears. I am in a garden of perpetual growth and I have planted my own seeds since my awakening.

A great friend of mine shared something with me this morning and I could feel it as my truth.  As women Decloak and unveil so that others can see the magnificence that we hold, another woman’s thought can become your truth. Why? Because as the words leave another persons lips, the ripples goes out and the truth awakens in your body. It’s not a mind share. It’s a personal sharing of something unique to one person that enables another person to awaken to their own truth. Truth at a much deeper level in the body and yet at a much higher level of consciousness. Where there were no words before, out of the mouth of another awakened presence, there are now words for the experience.

I liken myself to all living creatures. From animals to plants. Each of us a living expression of what becomes possible when allowing the ‘knowing’ in your body to lead you to the divine truth which is unique to you.

Women around me are wakening up and it fuels my being.  I become stronger, taller and that much more magnificent because I know that I AM not alone.

The flower that gets planted and unattended to will grow and maybe not flourish. The baby bird in the nest if left, may survive but not grow without others around it. Are we as women any different in this ‘garden of perpetual growth?’

Right here, right now in this breath, there are no words to end this. This is only a beginning.

With much RIG, (Respect, Integrity and Generosity of Spirit)

Amy

Sekhmet Rising

Today I awaken to who I am and in this breath, I AM SEKHMET RISING.

The living and breathing expression of who I am becomes a force of transformation when I allow two expressions of who I am to join and integrate.  What happens when the crucible and the spear meet and join forces with each other?  What happens as I allow full expressions of female and male ‘mana’ to mingle?  Sekhmet Rising is what happens.

In this moment, in this breath I am more than I have ever been in my life.  Standing tall and strong and speaking with conviction, the voice of Sekhmet is heard.  There is no questioning from others as Sekhmet enters a room.  There is a gentle and yet strong knowing  that what is about to take place will not be questioned as the knowing in the body emanates and is part of the field.  Although others voice their doubts or apprehensions, in a second breath they also know what they have never known before.  They may not understand or have words for it however in ‘her’ presence all is known to those in her life.

I believe that this is the first time in my life where I have recognized or known that crucible and spear are different and yet are both their in every  breath  I take.  Yesterday I had a belief that they were separate, today I know that they are not.  I am kind, gentle, caring and loving and…I am honest, open , clear and direct.  All of this is simply a different way of expressing the godforce that I am.  And in every breath whether I appear different or not, I am the same godforce.

With a knowing that male and female, crucible and spear are not separate from each other, a sense of being whole or complete is a state of being which I now can claim as the essence of who I AM.

Sekhmet

Being Naked

I smile as I stop to consider the title of this book.  Yes it makes me smile and it’s nothing more than saying this is who I am.  Stripped of all false pretense, I now stand in a very different place.  Naked.

I realize that some people don’t recognize me anymore.  Some individuals have known me all of my life and some most of my life.  A lot of people don’t recognize me since I’ve decided to ‘strip’ down and simply show everyone all of my wonderful imperfections.  What has become really exciting for me now is that some who never noticed me before or recognized me for who I am, are seeing me for the very first time and are marveling at me and with me.

Stripped down to the very core of my being was what it has taken me to change my life around completely.  I never thought that being ‘naked’ could be so fun.  Needless to say, there is a definite lightness to it.  :)  I feel the cool breeze now that I didn’t feel before.  I hear things that I didn’t recognize as being nature and beauty.

When you stand ‘naked,’ there is nothing left that anyone can say or do to you that will make a difference in your life.  If I had of known this sooner, I would have stripped long time ago.  Now my message to everyone is, “Get Naked.” 🙂

I now go where my body leads me.  Before I chose to get Naked and Decloak, I didn’t have an understanding of what it was to allow my body to lead.  When my body was covered and hidden by old beliefs and stories that were not mine, I felt alone and couldn’t imagine being naked.  Now I have shed a lot and now standing in the raw, I have more to offer of my true Self.  No one noticed me before because I didn’t have anything to offer anyone else, let alone myself.

There’s a sense of being humbled by my nakedness.  It has nothing to do with my physical body as much as it has to do with the core of my being.  While chatting with a friend I shared these thoughts with her.  “Wouldn’t it be nice if people could get excited for us just by noticing a glow in our face.  Wouldn’t it be nice to have others notice a change in us that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that we’ve lost weight?”

There were times in my life when I thought that I had ‘the’ answers.  There were times in my life when I thought ‘I’ was the answer.  There were times when I also thought that making others happy was more important to me than being alive.  What I thought was keeping me safe and sheltered were the very things that were smothering me and keeping me small.

We can’t be all things to all people.  What I know now is that I’m many things to many people and all I had to do was shed some layers and show up in my own life.  What sparks another person to get on with their life is seeing someone getting on with theirs.

My naked body may not be so appealing.  My naked ‘being’ is loved by many and most importantly, is loved by me.

I have a belief that there are many people who would love to be naked and experience the lightness of it.  I have a belief that if they experienced it, they’d continue to shed more layers until they stood completely naked.

Ladies, the fall is here and I encourage you all to shed old layers of the past that no longer serve you.  Allow yourself to experience what it’s like to be naked and strip yourself of false pretense.  Shed the layers and relax into yourself and discover that other individuals will love you for who you are and not for who you aren’t.

I came into this world ‘naked’ and now I’m thinking that it’s time to experience it ‘naked’ again.

Have a wonderful evening,

Amy

Here I sit outside early on a Sunday morning.  Once again the birds are all around me.  The air is crisp today and it feels rejuvenating.  Ah yes, it is I who is reflecting to the outside world what I am feeling on the inside.

The day is bright, and I feel alive within myself.  I stop to consider what it is that allows me to feel this alive and full of vigor and velocity.  Of course I know why I feel like I do.  The fall has arrived inside and out.  This is a time of ‘gathering.’  This is my time to relax into myself knowing that I have planted many seeds through the year and the fruition is happening around me.

My life had to be about me before I could allow it to be about you.  What is it that I have to offer you?  I offer you the gift of sight.  If at this point you can’t ‘see’ through your own lenses, I encourage you to look through mine.  Come and see what I see.  Witness the magic of who I am and what I have to offer you.  Know that I am you and you are me.  When you see the wonder of who I am and what I see, know that you are seeing a reflection of your own magic and potential gleaming back at you.  Connecting at a level unimaginable to most and incomprehensible to others.  And yet, this is my reality.  I show up and I don’t have to even speak words for you to understand or know who I am.

The animal totem suggests that I AM Grasshopper.  Yes indeed I AM.  I am able to move up or move forward.  I AM incapable of moving backwards.  This too is my gift to you.  What enable’s me to continue being me, is you.  As I witness you embracing your own vibrancy and potential, I Grow – I Evolve – I Transform.  By bearing witness to the magnificence of the seeds that I have planted.  I evolve by witnessing your evolution.  And then the calming is in my body knowing that who I am and how I have invested my time has not been fruitless.

The wind is blowing.  It caresses me and tells me that as I plant more seeds, they will be carried further than they were before.  You are my wind.  As you share with another who you have become, another seed gets planted.  The velocity of lives that will be transformed is gaining momentum.  Evolution and Transformation is at hand.  I am bearing witness to it and I marvel in it, in you.

Women around me are ‘awakening’ to the possibilities that lay within themselves.  There has always been a knowing in the body that more was possible.  How to tap into it was the question and know one had the answer not until ‘Grasshopper.’

Have you ever wondered why we look at animals of the wild and insects and marvel at their presence?  Could it be that they too are an aspect of ‘grasshopper?’  We look at them and we squirm and feel uncomfortable around them sometimes?  Why?  Could it be because the discomfort that comes from our in-ability to move up or forward?

What becomes of us as we embrace our own instincts as they do?  Does it become second nature for us to know that moving up or forward is a state of evolution and transformation?  Do we embrace it or do we pull back and sink into the intellect of what  isn’t  possible, as opposed to what is?

I encourage you to come play in My Meadow.  A Meadow of Endless possibilities where seeds are constantly being planted.  It’s o.k. to embrace what you don’t know, you don’t know.  In fact, give it the biggest hug possible because in it, in the unknown, is where your potential lays waiting to be, ‘Grasshopper.’

Once again in this moment, there are no more words to be spoken.

Amy

Embracing the past

Since I allowed myself to discover the difference between Standing alone and Standing my ground, I pondered what it was that allowed me to make the shift.

In a breath I realized what it was.  I chose to ‘Embrace my past.’  I’m not saying that I embraced and loved it.  What I’m saying is, I embraced my past, gave it the ‘hug’ that is so deserved (my way of saying ‘thank-you’ for what I learned from it) and then let it go.  It’s difficult to move forward when you have one foot stuck in the past.

I knew that I was standing in a very different place and that my life would probably shift yet again.  And now I know that things have shifted and the momentum is picking up for me.

Since I started my journey of what I’ll call ‘self discovery,’ my life has been very transformational.  No longer living in a limiting view of my world, I choose to believe that everything is a yes until it is 110% a no and even then I consider…’maybe.’  :)  What I know for myself, is that until I was ready to Embrace my past and looked at it differently, there was little or no chance of me moving forward.  I could have easily given a new definition to ‘incremental’ change.  It’s hard to move forward a step when your mind keeps on wondering back to what your life was like.  What others did to you.  Why they were so mean to you.  And how everything was really miserable.

O.K. enough already.  It may be time to consider that like others, ‘they’ only new what they knew and now that you have the experience of what it was like for you, you get to move forward and create something different for yourself.  You would have never had that opportunity if you hadn’t of experienced what you have.  You now get to choose for yourSelf…..if you ‘choose’ to.  Or live in the past and continue to create what you’ve had all your life.

If you look in the mirror, you’ll notice that you’re no longer a child.  You’re an adult able to choose differently.  Claim the past and all of its aches and pains and give it a hug and know that this is where you get to draw your line in the sand and say, “No more.”

I know of people who can readily call up the past ‘if they needed to’ so that they could put it back into someone’s face.  “There you did this to me when I was only six and now look at me.  My life is the shits because of you.”   Imagine if you’re an adult still lugging around ‘baggage’ of what other people did to you?  Where is the potential to grow or change your life if you’re only living in the past?

Our own personal history is a learning opportunity which enables us to choose differently and move forward.  It is only a ‘noose’ if we don’t allow ourselves to speak up and speak out and choose differently.  There is no one putting a ‘choke hold’ on you except yourself.

I remember my father used to say this to me sometimes.  I never fully got what he meant and he never elaborated on it and…I never asked.  Here’s what he used to say.  “The wound will heal, but the scar will always be there so that I don’t forget what was done to me.” And in a breath he would follow with, “Forgive and forget.”  I never got that one either.  Can you ever fully forgive (whatever that means) if you haven’t forgotten?  If you’re still looking at a scar that reminds you of the pain that others’ have caused you, how do you look past it and consider it as having had an opportunity for growth?

I pause and I stop to consider, am I rambling?  ‘Nonsense!’  Now that’s an old one for me.  You see that last paragraph that I wrote allowed me to ‘remember’ my past and I know that it is no longer relevant to me in this moment.  No different than you are, I remember being looked at and being told that “you’re crazing and you don’t make sense.  All of what you’re saying is in your head.”  Those were someone’s words to me when I was about37.  How easy is it for us to ‘recall’ the past and stay living in it?  We grow up and continue to grow older and I wonder if we ever allow ourselves to grow up?

Since I’ve ‘Embraced’ my past, I am moving forward in leaps and bounds.  I shared with a friend of mine yesterday that I sense that I’m like a child again.  In the sense that everything is new and I look at everything through new lenses with a sense of wonderment.  There is nothing that doesn’t amaze me or that I consider as ‘common.’  There is beauty in things that I would have never considered to hold beauty before.  This is what happens when you ’embrace’ the past.  You get to see things differently and get to experience everything from a different perspective, your perspective of what ‘can’ be.

I walked in a Meadow yesterday and I saw chickadees, dragonflies, butterflies and wild flowers.  I listened as I heard the crickets and other bugs letting me know that I wasn’t alone.  I would have never noticed those things before.  I would have possibly noticed what ‘wasn’t’ there.  And, I stand in a different place and know that the world, ‘my world’ is meant for me to explore my potential and consider my life as endless possibilities.

So I really encourage you to consider embracing your past, look at what you’ve learned from it (because it was a learning experience) and move forward and start new.  See through new lenses.  Consider what is possible rather than only seeing what isn’t.  Honestly, there’s very little in my world that I don’t see as being possible.  And…it’s my choice as much as it is yours.  You get to choose what is meaningful for you as much as I do.  If you like what others have, consider what choices you can make to create what ‘you’ want in your life.

Growing Forward is a Choice

Amy

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